A Ray of Sunshine

We have so many opportunities in life to become offended & walk in unforgiveness, but truthfully not one of them is worth what we have to trade in to remain in that unforgiving state. It's not worth our joy, love, or peace of mind that is required as an exchange. Forgiveness is not only necessary to our spiritual health, but also to our emotional and physical well-being. That is why the enemy so often uses it as a tool to steal from us, kill us, and destroy us and our victorious walk with Christ. Have you ever made the statement, "I just can't forgive them!" or "They hurt me so bad that I'll never be able to trust anyone ever again!"  Really? If you have ever said those words, upon saying them, I would imagine that you weren't thinking of just how bad you yourself have hurt others. When we are hurt, we feel the pain so intensely, however, when we hurt others we don't usually feel the pain that they feel. Sometimes, people can become so callous towards others that they feel a certain enjoyment in hurting them. We may even have felt that those we have wounded need to get over it. I have even heard some pride themselves in hurting others as if they were anointed by God to dish it out. If this is an attitude that you have ever struggled with, it could change if you suddenly find yourselves standing in the shoes of the one who is hurting. God has not called us to go around in life knocking chips off of people's shoulders, but rather to walk in love at all costs. I am reminded of the scripture in PS. 34:14 that says, "Depart from evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it." You may even be someone who purposes within yourself to pursue living in peace with others, but that doesn't always mean that they have the same warm cozy feelings towards you. However, Rms. 12:18 states, "...so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men." Wow, this means that  no matter how much you may try to show love to love someone and be at peace with them, if they don't return the same to you, you yourself are still expected as a child of God to be at peace with them. It is our responsibility, with everything in us to do this, and with the love of Christ within us we can.  Hebrews 12:14a tells us to, "Pursue peace with all men...." It can be an incredible emotional struggle when we determine to do this, yet are not received. Notice, however, God didn't promise in this scripture that others would always have an attitude of peace back towards us, but He just commands us to live in peace with others, regardless of their response towards us. It is our responsibility to do this. You may say,..."but Tamra, you don't know how I've tried and it still won't work...there's no hope!!!" Well, you might be right, but I do think I have some understanding of your situation. Be encouraged, though, there is a ray of sunshine in your desperation. It's forgiveness. Sometimes forgiveness is very easy, but other times it can be one of the hardest of tasks especially if it is someone that you must repeatedly forgive. Forgiveness is a choice; a conscience decision that you choose to make. When we choose to forgive, our feelings may not always readily line up with that decision. I have found it to be very helpful to verbally say outloud, "I choose to forgive_____ of doing _____; I make the choice right now to forgive them for that. "Every time that you experience even the smallest of hurt over something, just say it, and when the devil comes to play the ole' tape recorder back to you again & again as he likes to do, just make that decision & say it again. Eventually, he'll leave you alone in that area, but don't get too comfy because I promise you he'll be trying to figure out another area of attack! I have had times when the enemy would remind me over and over again what someone did or said that hurt me, and every time I would say that I forgave them over and over if it was necessary, until my feelings lined up with what I was saying; and eventually they did. Honestly, some people do not care that they hurt, slander, or pass judgment on others. I'm sure that it has always been such a way of life for them that they don't even realize just how they affect others. If you are refusing to forgive, you are not hurting them because they probably really don't care how it affected you anyway. They're are just living life doing their thing while you're hurting. Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and choose to forgive them and release them. If you won't forgive them, you have built a prison in your mind for them, but guess who's in prison with them??? You are!!! That's no life for a Child of God! One of the best cures for us when we are hurt and struggling to forgive someone, is to think about a time when we went stupid and did something to hurt someone. We've all done things that we have desperately wished that we could have the opportunity to do differently. The Bible plainly states that if we will not forgive those who have not hurt us, He will not forgive us. The reason for it...I believe it is because we all are as guilty as the next person when it comes to this area. If we inspect our lives and can't find those who we have wronged, then it's time for us to take off those rose-colored glasses so we can see ourselves as we really are. We are all guilty, and thank God for His forgiveness toward us. The most important reason that it's worth giving forgiveness to those who have wronged us is that we need it because we also have wronged others! Jesus Christ died for us and forgave us of our sins, therefore, we are bound in covenant with Him, and He is asking us to forgive. Making the decision to forgive until our feelings line up with that decision, will set us free! Unforgiveness is just another tactic of the devil to steal the good life from us. Refuse to let him do it! Love your enemies! Pray for them, do good to them, bless them, and when the wrong you again and again, continue these steps again and again. Aren't you grateful that Jesus forgave you? I have went many times to people when I knew that I hurt them or did them wrong and asked for forgiveness because my heart convicted me. For those who were forgiving and received it, it felt so wonderful to hear, "I forgive you." Likewise, I have had people who have wronged or hurt me come and humbly ask for forgiveness, and as I gave it, I'm sure that it felt wonderful for them to hear that from me as well. It feels so good to walk in forgiveness & get the heavy weight of unforgiveness off of your back. For those who refuse that they have done any wrong when they know that they are guilty, just let God deal with the situation...He has His ways. For you, release them, so that God will deal with them. What we are not willing to give to the Lord He cannot take and fix. For those of you who did hurt others, but you did not intentionally purpose to hurt them, yet they will not receive that... give it to God and take your hands off of it. He is bigger than any of our problems! Just walk in love, and let Him take care of the big stuff. When we try to fix something when others are wrongfully hanging on to unforgiveness, it just magnifies the situation. What God expects of us is to walk in unconditional love and common respect towards all regardless of our circumstances, and when we experience hurt, to not make it bigger than what it really is. If we all would magnify God more than our problems, our problems would get much smaller.