"You Don't Fit In"

Today, I would like to share with you the dangers of Fitting in. It sounds like a topic that is needed predominantly for kids, but this isn't so. Many more adults than you could imagine struggle with the desire to fit in and be accepted by certain people. I remember many years ago at a certain point in my life, a place where I was at in my spiritual walk with Christ that I will always cherish. The way that God used me on a daily basis; outside of the church, just in every day life, at work, out to eat, etc..., meant something precious to me. God would always out of nowhere ask me to do special things for people, give me a particular specific word to speak to them, or to go talk to people about Him. It would be such a strong heart-pounding burden upon me that I would just do it. God would even use me to lead people to the Lord right there in the back room of the beauty salon where I worked at. A minister friend that I worked with at that time recognized this and said to me,  "Tamra, God asks you to do these things because He can trust you with them." I know that this was true looking back at some of the conversations that God and I would have together. Even though I had to fight reason and fear to obey God, the outcome was always worth it. Moving forward just a bit, I remember being at church one day & observing a group of friends having fun. Now a couple of these ladies would tell me all the time how they respected & looked up to me, but when it was time to run around together and do "fun stuff," I wasn't their choice, and I had always been o.k.with that because I was always a more serious minded person anyway. This particular day however, was a trap of the enemy that I would not recognize for what it was until many years later. I'm sorry to say that I took the bait & was trapped! I still remember that day so vividly. Everyone looked so happy; their faces beaming with joy, laughing and playing. The words, "You don't fit in" ran through my mind. I began to agree that I didn't. I didn't have buddies that I did fun stuff with all the time. I began to long for that, & from that day on I began to pursue "fitting in" with people. After all, what was wrong with that, they were Christians; church people?  I began to spend more and more time having good clean fun with people without noticing that it was taking away from my time with God. Please know that I am not in any way speaking against Christian fellowship with each other. I understand & know that this is vital & necessary to our walk as Christians, but this was different. I did fellowship with others before this day, however, my level of "fellowship" greatly increased, and in reality, it was really more a matter of my heart that was out of balance. How could I have looked at this fellowship that I had with Christ & longed to trade it in for something else? How could I have thought for a single moment that I was somehow missing something in life? How could hanging out & being accepted by people look better than the times that I was experiencing with God? I didn't realize the trade that I was making. You see, the devil is a liar & the truth is not in him; he is a master at deceiving...not to give him an ounce of glory, though! It was a trap to deter me from continuing down the path that I was on. If only I had seen it for what it really was. I spent a lot of time just fitting in to what the people around me were or expected me to be. Making them happy with me; pleasing them. Then, a few years ago, I was by myself and the Lord revealed something great to me; something I desperately needed to hear. I realized for the first time that I had accomplished what I pursued...I finally "fit in" with those that I desired to fit in with, but  no longer did I "fit in" with God... Not like I once did. I was changed, and it was not a change that I was proud of either. I got what I sought after, and it was not really what it appeared to be and surely not what I wanted either. It felt good to my flesh, but agonizing to my Spirit. No longer did I have the regular assignments spoken into my ears by God; not anywhere on the same level. Sure, I could go visit a sick person or do many good deeds, etc...which we should do anyway, but it wasn't the same as walking through a parking lot and having God point out a perfect stranger to you and whisper in your ear so clearly, "Go tell that person that I love them; go tell them about me." You see, its the smallest of things like this that keep churches everywhere full of people having more religion than relationship; and you have to be on guard all the more when you hold positions in a church. I don't care how you cut it, if you are spending more time taking care of your "position" in church than just relating to God for no reason at all....it's religious! If you're studying or praying to get a message for the class you teach or the sermon you preach, you must be on guard to not substitute that as time spent in relationship with God. To have depth in our relationship with Christ, we must spend much time with Him that brings no motive with it, but rather just ourselves. I don't want to fit in with people anymore. If you tell me that I should be like everyone else...I won't even listen to you. I am not a cookie cut from a Christian cookie cutter, and neither are you! I choose only to allow Christ to tell me who I am, and delegate to me what He has called me to do. I choose to fit in with Him even if I am the odd ball with man. We can trust that we are on the right path when it is He that is leading us. If we, as the Body of Christ would truly begin to operate out of what God has appointed us to do through relationship with Him, there's no doubt that we would see miracles, signs and wonders all the time. If  our churches are not operating out of this, I believe that it is a relationship problem. If we don't have this happen in our personal lives as individuals, it surely won't happen in our church services either. I pray that as I have written this, that it speaks to you; that it changes something within you. Our power is in our relationship to the One True Living God, Jesus Christ, and in Him determine to fit.